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In March 2009, Ling's sister, Laura, also a reporter, was captured in North Korea. "The only thing I cared about was getting Laura home," says Ling.

Ling turned down work and holed up at her mother's in L. "I was not a spouse." In August 2009, as former President Clinton escorted Laura back to the U.

The deal: Both must be home in time for dinner every night.

In December 2006, less than a year after they met, Song rented a private room at Charlie Trotter's restaurant in Chicago and dropped to one knee, pulling out a plain platinum band and asking Ling to marry him in front of their families, whom he'd flown in. "We never made 'us' the priority." By November 2010, almost four years later, their marriage was seriously troubled. Song found a job, but he detested California's troubled health-care system.

Worse, he felt like a "latchkey husband," thanks to Ling's constant traveling.

For most of 2010, they spent, on average, one weekend a month together, eating out and talking about work.

Scrolling down Song's Facebook page, "I wouldn't know the people he was hanging out with," says Ling.

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Though their salaries were about equal, they kept separate finances and traded off expenses.