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And while it’s fair to say that these men (and women) who at best take advantage and at its worst abuse us are at fault, what we have to realise is that as we are 100% responsible for ourselves, we have our part in in it too.
Every day I read stories in my email, read the comments, Facebook, and even general stories via my friends, acquaintances, and of course the media, and I feel deeply saddened that there are many women who are like how I have been, believing they have no options, or their option is someone who treats them ‘less than’.
You’ll ‘run’ but you’ll go in fits and starts and you won’t be healthy.
The tank will never be full if you haven’t put your own self-love in the tank, so no matter how much you try and get others to fill up the void, what it needs is the reserve of your self-love.
If you sell yourself short, at best you’ll be running on an almost empty tank, and at it’s worst, you’ll be running on empty.
Other People’s Love tops it up although some people’s ‘oil’ is of a low grade quality that may do a lot more damage to the tank in the long run… Whoever they are that are causing you pain, you do better.
It felt like a lot and that I was working for the relationship – I was running on the spot.
It suited me to think I was unlovable – It was like giving myself license to be resigned to dating assclowns.
It’s very easy to think and talk about what you can’t do, but it’s time to do the harder work of thinking and talking about what you Hi, I’m Natalie!
It’s like we don’t believe in healthy relationships anymore and are desperate to fill up a void with somebody, anybody…just as long as they cater to our beliefs.
Here’s the thing: I know that dating is not as straightforward as it used to be and lazy communication has been enhanced by texts, email, and instant messenger, as well many people thinking that there are so many fish in the sea that they don’t need to commit, but when we believe that our options are limited or that we have no options, a lot of assclowns and Mr Unavailables but that there were plenty of healthy people too, lo and behold, I saw them, met them, and was interested, with the key difference being that I actually believed that I was genuinely believing it was possible.
Before, I acted like I had no options, not because it was what I intended but because I had limited myself to limited relationships with limited men because I didn’t I was capable of having a normal relationship.
To be fair, it’s not like I had great examples in my childhood, but that aside, I didn’t believe a normal, healthy guy who acts with love, care, trust, and respect, would want to be with – I was kinda prepared for it!
It felt like a slap in the face and I smarted from her words but they stuck in my head for a very long time and in the end, I came to recognise the significance and truth of her words once my pride had settled down.